It goes to reason that if you're going to ride bikes, you're going to crash or have an accident sometimes. No, no, don't argue, just admit it's true. You can swaddle your body in the most protective gear ever, and you still won't be able to defy Newtonian law. So here's a little primer to help you through the difficulties.

Scars Make Stories Cooler One of my first bike accidents happened when I was under 10. Was it while doing jumps on my pink and purple huffy? No. While marking up the street doing skids on my first (coaster brake) bike? No. I rode into the back of a parked car and scratched my hand with the bumper. This left a permanent raised scar in between the pinky and ring finger on my left hand. Oh well, now my lifeless body will be even more identifiable.

Learn How to Fall Without Hurting Yourself

I've always been somewhat clumsy so falling isn't that big of a deal to me. Through martial arts, I learned to roll when falling—which comes in handy a little too often. One day I was on an incredibly busy street downtown, feeling like hot shit, riding around in my new toe clips and straps. I stopped at a red light and pulled my right foot out to stand, however, I tipped over to the left and couldn't get that foot out. Before I could get the proper curse word out, I was on the ground with one foot up in the air, and my bike on top of me. I quickly hopped up and pretended nothing was going on, but of course everyone in the area saw the whole thing. The worlds longest red light allowed me to keep living the humiliation over and over, while people rushed over to ask if I was okay. Which leads to the next point:

Crash Where as Few People as Possible can See You Stick to back roads. That way when you fall you can keep your dignity. There will be less likelihood of anyone having seen it.

Stay out of the Damn Sand

Perhaps this is just a New England thing, but in addition to regular road debris, there's sand. Oh they pretend they just put it down for traction in the winter, but it's there year–round. Cyclists know, we have to look at the streets. One time I decided to ride through some sand to try a skid without looking ahead for cars. I was on a hardly–used street where I rarely saw cars. Of course this is the one time one appears. I grab the brakes, causing my bike to go one way and my body to fly another. Let me tell you, the airborne moments before smashing into the ground are the longest periods in time, ever. I had time to contemplate what my face was going to look like after it met the pavement, and rethought my decision that morning to not wear bike gloves. Somehow I escaped with only a gash to one hand, and perhaps a mild concussion. I've had those before, so I didn't bother going to the hospital.

Sometimes it's Okay to Ride on the Sidewalk

I know some people are going to disagree, but bear with me. I was scooting down the street when I made a right to avoid some traffic, and ended up in some road construction.. All of a sudden, a cop yells at me to get on the sidewalk. I decided to be an obedient citizen and listen to the guy, even though I know I'm in the right. I turn back around to go up the little wheelchair ramp on to the sidewalk, my front wheel slides out from under me due to a pile of sand and BLAM! I'm on the ground. Again, with the sand. This time I get to pick some out of my elbow. I'm of course, pissed off and in pain, but I need to get to work. When I leave that day, I learn why I should've been on the sidewalk. My tires are covered in formerly hot tar.

And remember, the best pain reliever is candy. Lots and lots of candy.